To Fight
by The Gifted Soul
Summary: I couldn't believe this "Oh, don't be so surprised Edmund." I snapped. Edmund stared at me in disbelief and hurt "Julia, what happened to you?" I turned fully, looking at him square in the eyes, letting him see the answer. "Things change and so have I. You didn't expect me to stay the same, now did you?"
1. Chapter 1: Things Change

**A/N: This is the sequel to "To Learn", compared to the first this one starts a little more ambiguous if I say so myself. I apologize if it's hard to understand. The chapter's main function is to show Julia's emotional and psychological changes. Pretty much to state more explicitly what goes through her mind at this point. Just in case I would like to state the ages clearly, in _To Learn_ she's physically 10 years old, but she has lived for a 100 years; plus the age she already had that equals to a 110 years old. Then we sum the 15 after the war (The Golden Age) then the total would be a 125 years. _To_ _Fight _takes place five years (Price Caspian) after _To Learn_ (or basically The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe). Total years alive: 130.  
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**If she seems darker... well it's intentional. The next chapter will elaborate this and her relationship with Edmund more profoundly. I realized, (and was mentioned) that I realy didn't explore that door, in figurative speech mind you, I had opened. But, I had plans to fills those gaps, not all of them, I would like it better if I let some things to your imagination and speculation. If in doubt with anything I haven't mentioned before don't hesitate to ask.**

**Hope you enjoy this sequel, Review! ^-^**

* * *

Chapter 1: Things Change

"Wake up." someone shook me "Come on, Juli wake up. Wake have to go."

I mumble and sleepily swatted whatever was disturbing my sleep. "Raphael!" she called and before I could even begin to process the meaning of her call I felt a sudden _heavy_ weight fall on me... and literally _squeeze_ the air out of my lungs. "Oho-aygh!" that's pretty much how I must have sounded. I coughed and sputtered for air. "Raphael." I gasped in that almost soundless and more like breathed voice. He just ran away, and he better. If I ever got my hands on him... I imagined myself telling Lucy how Raphael had died tragically... by an "accidental" squeezed neck. Such a tragic end...

I fall back on the bed with a pained face "Why?" I whine.

Brenna smiled apologetically "Sorry, I had to wake you up one way or another. We'll be late."

I groaned and slowly sat, giving her a dirty look. "I'm up, I'm up." I grumbled. I felt tell-tale symptoms of anger grip my chest with an intense desire for violence. I felt like a beast. "Get out, I'll be ready." I said curtly and dismissively. I was not looking forward to that blasted boarding school. The frown and angry look started to hurt, I, however, could still not find it in myself to relax or calm down for that matter. I just got angrier and angrier... I griped the sink and glared at the reflection on the bathroom mirror. The girl in it... looked ready to kill. My body seethed and trembled. The mirror did too, and it's image started to morph and change, not longer was there a bland brunette but a golden haired girl. Her eyes; the blue, like ice in a snowstorm, devoured the brown in it until there was nothing left, not trace of me in that reflection. I stumbled back, my rage vanished and just terror remained. Dressed alike, but never same being. Opposites looking with different expressions, even as I stumbled that one step back she pose changed not.

_Luce... _my mind ghostly whispered.

The thought was like a catalyst, she opened her mouth wide, bearing her teeth and screaming. She pounced, to tear through the mirror with her bare human hands and plunged them in my chest. I tried to run, only to crash with the bar where I placed the towel and falling on the floor; as a mess on surprised sounds that never get to be words and a lone pain-filled whimper.

Just like that, it was gone. I trembled on the cold floor, breathing erratically. I tried to grab something, _anything_, but my hands would only shake and couldn't even close them, I gasped and let out dying sounds, too low to be ever heard, but still there. Then "Gnnnh.. gnnnh." I sobbed, My body wouldn't respond, it never did when I had an episode. No matter how many times it happened, I could never stop feeling the complete and utter hopelessness and terror that consumed my mind, heart and soul.

Edmund. He would help me. He knew about this. I needed Edmund. I missed Edmund. My throat was tight; it hurt. I sobbed, with gritted teeth still unable to will my body to work, because of my miserable longing. I looked at the door through tears and felt more broken as each passing second reminded me something I already knew.

Edmund wasn't here. He wouldn't come.

* * *

I recovered slowly. I felt calm and hollow. Day and night; hunted by ghosts. Always the same, always my reflection morphing into a wrathful Luce and she trying to slice me to ribbons with her human-looking but sharp nails. It could be anywhere, the bathroom, the school, a hand mirror, even if I so much as saw my reflection on water. Five years ago, I didn't have much problems with this, I could console myself with the thought that she was dead.

But, to my infinite horror, she was still alive.

"Are you alright?" an older Luce asked, raising a incredulous eyebrow.

We we shocked, spooked out. How was it possible for Luce, who _I _fought and killed, still alive. She appeared to have no memory of Narnia. There is something, maybe not a memory in itself, that changed the way she treated me. It wasn't really extreme, more like subtle. The way she would be sometimes cold, her strange glances, a mysterious spite in her actions. It was like when in Narnia, but... different. She seemed to know, but at the same time didn't. As if her hatred had solidified to the point it even echoed here; even after death. But she spent less time dead than hating me. A hundred-years worth of wrath, versus a short fifteen years...

I think the answer is obvious.

"I'm fine." I was, for now.

Her lip twitched downward, the looked away and kept going her way.

* * *

My breathing was raged, sweat made my skin sticky and hot. My eyes were trained on the pair of girls in from of me. My body hunched and ready.

As my luck would have it, school girls weren't much different from a caged pack of barbarians. Raphael and Gabriel were lucky; they weren't on the target sight of their school bullies, for now. Brenna and I... well, I wouldn't be fighting if the situation had been the same, now would I? Luce was never to be seen when the brawls erupted, vanishing just before the pack of hyenas cornered us. Every day, at lunch, exactly at 12:00, not a minute earlier nor latter. Their benevolent leader -please, note the sarcasm as I use the before mentioned title on her- Samantha Stone, started her monologue. Always the same words.

"How is our favorite fighter? You know, the offer is still on the table. You just have to accept. Could make a fortune with those _lethal_ skills of yours." she then would smile widely, with a snap of her fingers her pawns attacked.

She was a particularly stubborn recruiter, saw me fighting about five weeks ago, not alone, with Brenna against five others. two boys and three girls. She controlled a clandestine fighting club; the rules were simple: Fight, earn money, be famous, instill fear, and reach the top. If you lose... the only two places you were going were hospital or the morgue.

She was pretty civil, she proposed me to join as part of her star team, I refused. I had more important battles to fight. She took it as a personal insult... and there I was, fighting like an animal with the skill of a warrior to make it home for today. Just so the cycle would restart tomorrow. Again, and again... and again. The fighters, both her's and lone, were diminishing. She was getting more desperate by the day and so was I. It terrified me just a what lengths would she go... to own me. To control me like a puppet under strings.

No. I refused to do that. I would not turn into a slave. Be it for the White Witch or a normal girl.

Brenna fought with me, but there was a problem. She had gotten too used to the safety of the skies, to dive, attack and fly away with ease. While this strategy was useful it was a dangerous handicap; she wasn't used to close combat, no matter how much I insisted on her preparing herself for that. She was... too prideful to admit she was being careless. And while it takes some attention from me, she mostly just got in the way.

"What da yah think?! Wanna _cooperate_?" The girl one my left sneered mockingly.

I turned my head, and glared her coldly. Time slowed down in my mind; her shoulders hitched, her muscles trained, her skin tense like a ready bow, her arms curved.

One step back, arms ready, eyes on my target.

She takes off; predictable.

Still slow. She threw a punch_ -side step, hit with elbow_. She twists and turns 180 degrees, elbow raised to hit me -_bow down, use her momentum against her, elbow her jaw_. She fell on the floor, clutching her jaw. I stood, breathing controlled. My eyes fall on the boy. He does the same.

Thirty minutes latter after some unexpected volunteers attacked me from the same of everyday crowd, I stood. My only wound was a blossoming bruise on my cheek, and a broken lip. I looked down on those on the floor, some moaning in pain or discomfort, others not even moving, alive but unmoving. I felt nothing, just the usual high of adrenaline. I saw Stone look at them with a mixture of disbelief and frustration. I went over to her. She gasped.

"The rules have changed." I hissed "Starting tomorrow. Whoever fights me, hurts anyone I care for, or tries to corner me- I'll make sure they don't live to tell it." I took a step closer "You will be the first." I leaned closer "You'll regret the day you messed with me Stone." I would finish this, whatever the cost.

I turned my back and walked to were I stayed. My knuckles felt cold and burned. My clothes were dirty and in some places torn.

Shouldn't be surprised. Things change and so have I.


	2. Chapter 2: Reunited at Last

Chapter 2: Reunited at last

That morning I awoke all by myself, in a cold sweat. I no longer _felt_ terrified, but it got more twisted and bloody each time making it rather difficult to get used to, even if I willed myself to think of something else. The sweat-drenched nightgown stuck to my skin making it itchy and suffocating. I shakily pressed a hand on chest, feeling my heart beat galloping away. To talk about my dreams would most likely assure the listener the same fate: having your worst nightmares, night after night, just to wake up and live a nightmare from which you can't wake up from. I felt like it just got harder and harder. I was scared. I was alone.

The others… they were fine! They could sleep, eat, talk, _live_ normally, while I was plagued by terror after terror. Why couldn't I be _happy_? Or at least let be? I found it incredulous that they could be alright while I felt more and more isolated. An unbreakable wall slowly cementing itself between them and I. I couldn't breathe. I panted and grasped the sheets blindly, struggling to calm myself.

_"Help…help…please someone help me…. HELP!"_

I hugged the sheets and pressed them to my nose, just breathed. In my mind; it was like a room with books, filled with pictures (images) and words (thoughts and feelings) I searched. Wreaking havoc in desperation as it got colder and scarier. A good memory. Just one and I'd be fine.

At last I found what I'd been looking for.

"_Julia, please just try the gown." Susan plead, with puppy eyes. She was pouting like a child. Honestly._

_I shook my head, snorting "Susan, for the last time. I'm not taking part of the ball. It's not even __**my**__ birthday, it's Edmund's." I frowned, contemplating facts and out of habit added "his… sixteenth to be precise."_

_She wiggled the dress and smiled in exasperation "All the more reason. Admit it, you fancy him."_

_I felt both my sides being hugged. I turned my head. "Please, Jules. You never dress pretty-_

"_Excuse me?"_

_-and I think Edmund would like to see you there. You know he prefers having loved ones near, and that includes you, silly." She giggled at the end._

"_What were you saying about me not dressing 'pretty'?" I evaded._

"_Come on!" Raphael tugs on my arm hard. Ouch. "We all agreed to go to each other's birthdays and __**dress**__ like we should."_

_I shook my head and straightened "You all know that my job is to keep Edmund safe-_

"_Excuses! Excuses!" Susan interrupted. "He would think of you lovely in this gown."_

_(After many protests and threats on my side) I went to the party, dressed with that sea-blue gown, decorated with intricate silver embroidery. Edmund, dressed in silver and red, was lively chatting with a trio of nobles. A duchess her husband and their teenage son. **"They didn't seem fidgety; no sign of nervousness, nor unusually self-concision or glancing at something repeatedly; no signs of something bad about to be done by them, they seem okay."** I shook my head, I was acting like the knight I was, analyzing every one in his vicinity. "Oh, Aslan, help me. I so nervous." I muttered to myself in worry. I was too used to walk around and act like The Knight of The Just, not as Julia Norwolf a guest. It was bizarre._

_I kept myself busy by looking around, the ball was beautiful, delicate and not overly decorated. Susan has a good sense of fashion and balance, I'd give her that. The music was easy on the ears, enough to listen and appreciate and did not hampered the conversations, more like encourage them. I could hear many of the topics discussed: how beautiful was the music, how handsome the king was, how wise Edmund was, and so on. Mostly were of Edmund, and they were positive so it relieved me._

_"Julia?"_

_I jump and turn sharply "Oh! Edmund! Sorry, you startled me." I place a hand on my chest and breathe in relief._

_He smiled "I should say that I felt the same, thought you would be caught dead before you wore a gown. Given your refusal to wear one before." he explained._

_I fidgeted "It's just that- well- I feel self-conscious and..." I shrugged sheepishly._

_He took my hand and when I looked up he said "You're beautiful."_

My breath calmed down, and sleepiness clouded the edges of my mind, I was so exhausted. I slowly let myself fall back on bed and fell into a dreamless sleep. Until Brenna would wake me up for another day.

* * *

I was pleasantly bored. Yes, pleasantly. I much rather be bored that fighting against Samantha's pawns, thank you very much. I breathed deeply, leaning more heavily against the mild bench. There was a sudden uproar on the other side, "Fight! Fight! Fight!" I guess it was obvious what the fuss was about. From what I could see a second boy had gotten himself involved; he pounced on another boy. I did not see his face, but I wasn't really trying to. I just was secretly glad it wasn't _me_.

Brenna was more interested "I wonder who got into a fight this early in the morning."

"Maybe one of those bullies, they're always getting into fights." Gabriel sat beside her, sharing her curiosity.

I said nothing, I honestly couldn't care less. I was tired and restless, I just wanted to sleep, real sleep.

I frowned to myself, upset at my weakness and ignorance. Part of me wanted to be completely indifferent to the world, to hate _Him_ for what I was forced to do, to hate those who came out of that battle unscathed. And yet... this small, but stubborn and solid piece of my heart reminded me of what I gained, what I learned, what I experienced. I learned what was like to be loved, and to love so strongly I could give up everything else. The biggest was my fear, because I felt completely terrified of both sides; I thought if I were to choose either I would lose myself, lose sight of who I was, I feared I would stop being Julia Norwolf, and would become another Luce; a puppet. I couldn't confide in anyone; Brenna wouldn't understand, Raphael is too young and Gabriel is too... cynical. Luce is completely out of the question.

I take a deep breath and lean on the back rest. The wait would be short, but very slow. I sighed. I massaged my tense forehead and when I opened my eyes and looked to my left... I felt invisible. They, Luce included, chatted animatedly about something I couldn't understand, couldn't hear. Time slowed down for me. I felt like I was slowly disappearing, like slowly turning more translucent as the seconds wore on. I could imagine how easily they could function without me, I felt... unneeded; useless. I wanted to be necessary.

The thunderous sound of the train coming closer was not what brought me out of my downward spiral of thoughts, but a pinch. On my bun. That was on the bench.

I jump out of the bench and glare at Brenna, who was at my immediate right. "What was that for?!"

She looked at me incredulously "What could you possibly be on about- Ouch!" she stood up as if burned by the bench. "Gabriel!"

He gave her the same look "What did I do- Ow! Raphael-" Raphael shot up and looked at the bench confused. Luce made a little jump, then stood; her eyes were wide and she frowned. The sudden passing of the train made my hair whip on my face. It only took me seconds to realize that the train wasn't stopping, and there was too much wind. "Grab hands!" They did automatically.

I look around, the tiles were blown off the walls, papers flew left and right. The people seemed to notice nothing strange, they kept going on their business undisturbed. The wind kept blowing and blowing; through the windows of the still-going train I saw a blue sky, then the torn wall, then the sky. I breathed deeply, and I gaped slightly. The pitch had been magic. The pitch had been magic! I felt an overwhelming swell in my chest. A massive cluster of emotions both good and bad. I wanted to jump out of my skin and at the same time freeze where I was. The everything became too bright and I had to close my eyes.

Leaves. I could hear the distinct sound of rustling leaves; the smell of sea water made my tongue tingle. I could hear the waves crash in the distance and for a moment I felt like it was just me and no one else. The clear blue sky greeted my sight as I opened my eyes, a smile tugged my lips.

"We're back." Brenna whispered in awe. I think we felt scared that I we were to say much louder everything would vanish as in a dream. I walked forward and absently let go of Brenna's hand to reach for the tree before me. I never felt so relived, happy to feel the rough bark under my hand.

We were back. Back home. Back in Narnia. And I felt too relived to speak.

Raphael didn't last long in the silence, he never did. That was one of the times when I truly did not mind at all. "We're in Narnia!" and he stated to jump and cheer and do things only a child would. Amusing as it was, Gabriel joined in the jumping. It was ridiculous, funny and made me scratch my head. _"Ladies and Gentlemen, the Knights of the Valiant and the Gentle."_ I though in amusement. My cheeks were starting to hurt, I massaged them, but I couldn't stop smiling so it didn't help much, only in making me look silly. Brenna took my hands and through shakes and exited sounds told me how exited and happy she was. I couldn't help the short mock I made of her expressions, she just blushed and jumped. I snorted at her.

In the distance I hear squeals and laughter. I turned and realized we weren't as far from the beach as I originally though and clearly saw a quartet of teenagers playing with each other. Two boys and two girls.

I breathed.

Before I knew it a gryphon, a lion cub and a stag had speed ahead. A single though had stopped me from following the suit as to my left... was Luce. She looked incredulous and confused. "Luce..." she looked at me, and kept her distance. "This is Narnia... um, we've been here before." I explained. I was expecting, hoping, I would get a reaction. An acknowledgement that she knew what I was talking about. Nothing.

"Mind if I go?" I asked in worry. She shook her head. I nodded and after a slight hesitation shifted and ran. It was comforting to feel my paws digging in the earth, and leaves and the wind as I sped. It wasn't hard to find Edmund as he is the only one shaking his head at his brother and sisters respectively on the sand. Maybe he thought that I wouldn't do the same, and normally I wouldn't, but I made an exception. I missed him too much.

He heard me and smiled mirthfully, hunched down and evaded me when I tried to pounce on him into the water. The waves wet my fur and I shifted back. I laughed and tried to catch Edmund while he in turn ran and splashed me. I crashed against him and sent us both to the wet sand. I panted and brushed away the wet hair plastered on his face. I couldn't start to explain how much I missed those eyes. How I missed when he and I would play chess, how we would banter just to distract the other, sometimes distracting ourselves. I would be too embarrassed to admit how much I missed when he would place a hand on my waist and the heat that would stay on the spot long after the hand was gone. "It appears you've lost grace in your years of retirement, Your Majesty." I teased, intensifying the accent most royals would use back then.

He caressed my cheek "Indeed. I recall, however, that it was you who pounced on _me_." His voice was deeper and I ashamedly admit he had become more handsome too.

I laughed "That brought so many memories. Oh Aslan," I hid my face on his chest "when those women pestered me about how to seduce you they drove me mad." His chest shook, I looked up and saw Edmund with his face scrunched up, laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. "When you came running and hid in my room, you looked half mad already. Your hair was a mess and your armor was practically dangling from your shoulder. And when I suggested under the bed you pretty much threw yourself and miraculously didn't knock yourself out with the floor!"

"It worked." I defended myself.

"Of course." he snorted "They followed you like bloodhounds all the way to my room and when they saw me they..." Edmund shook his head "They tied me in a chair for crying out loud!"

I couldn't hold myself "Good thing I was there to save you King in distress."

Smiling he pulled me closer "I owe you my gratitude then." and kissed me. His lips were warm and salty from the water. I kissed back and boldly teased his lower lip. I could feel him smile in the kiss, and I couldn't hold back mine. He made me forget and that was what I so desperately wanted.

"Julia, we know you're happy, but would you be so kind to let my brother breathe? I think he needs it." Susan said.

I sheepishly got off Edmund and stood up. I brushed the sand of my uniform as best as I could. "Hey love birds!" Gabriel called. I rolled my eyes and drwaled "What?"

"Were there any ruins in Narnia back then?"

I frown and follow his line of sight, finding that the actually were ruins up the mountain. It was mostly strange because the only castle I ever knew that existed, in Narnia, and so close to the beach was Cair Paravel.

* * *

**A/N: This is definitely _the_ longest chapter I've ever posted, I didn't intend it to be so, but I kinda had a hard time stopping or starting or continuing. Given, school work and laziness aren't the best combination, but now that I have a long weekend I've decided to finish and post this chapter. God, I haven't even gotten close to half the movie! *sigh* Maybe _To Fight_ will be slightly longer than _To Learn_ but it's too soon to tell. I have ideas for other Fanfics but this is the one I'm mostly sure to continue, I know what Julia's role is and the ending of her journey, but don't panic. It's still a long way to go. Meanwhile, review, read, and hopefully follow the story (messed up the order didn't I?). Ciao!**


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